Because I have nothing to do on Friday...

The Max Payne trailer looks fine but if it doesn't have Nikki Payne in it: Fuck it, I'm just not interested.

John McCain has announced his running mate to be Alaska Governor Sarah Palin. This election is going to be historic no matter which way it goes: If Barak Obama wins the US gets a black president. Historic. If McCain manages to win, not only will the US have a female vice president, but between her and Cindy McCain it'll be the first administration to be surrounded by a weird aura of MILFy fuckability. Historic and strangely arousing.

I don't know why, but I'm not ready to hop aboard the Hamlet 2 bandwagon just yet. Maybe it's just a case of We Can't Show Any Of the Good Stuff in the Trailer Because it's Too Darned Offensive-itis, but the little I've seen of it is just leaving me cold. Christ jokes? Just not as outrageous as they used to be. Also for something that's supposed to be so amazingly controversial, I haven't heard about one Christian group protesting it. How offensively hilarious can it be if Christians can't be bothered to make a few bristol board signs and effigies in a vain attempt to stop it?

I'm usually in the "It's possible to make a movie out of anything" camp when it comes to video game adaptations, but Guitar Hero? The only thing more pathetic than wanting to make a movie out of a game that's essentially a Simon with a whammy bar and delusions of grandeur is Brett Ratner's description of what he'd like to do with this potential "Franchise":

“It could be about a kid from a small town who dreams of being a rock star and he wins the ‘Guitar Hero’ competition. One of these dreams-[come-true] kind of concepts.”

So this hypothetical kid wants to be a rock star: Worshipped by millions of screaming fans while making horrendous amounts of money, and spending his off hours engaged in crazed sex acts that would make the internet blush. But then, through some fantastical twist of fate, he instead gets to pound brightly coloured buttons on a hobbit-sized toy guitar at a competition sponsored by some local bowling alley where he can hopefully win 10,000 dollars and a lifetime supply of Red Bull? That's not just depressing, that's a fucking tragedy.